The reality of being a Vintage Widow .....

{ Guest Post }

This week marks the bi annual Vintage Festival in the Barossa Valley, a time of celebration and relief as the yearly vintage comes to a close ... while myself, the mechanics wife awaits the celebration, wine and good food,  the vintage widows in the community are just looking forward to the end of a long couple of months ... and I guess,  as with everything  in life its hard to comprehend those struggles unless you have experienced them yourself .. so I asked my beautiful friend Lydia to put pen to paper to help me understand ....

We have been though a lot together over the last 6 years, meeting though my husbands work, then being pregnant together, and bonding over our beautiful boys, we were in mothers group together, and now our handsome little fellas are school yard buddies, we have been through, breastfeeding, weaning, sleepless nights, kindy transitions,  starting and supporting each others business, she let me cry it out when we found out about Eriks diagnosis, and we both shared the pain of miscarriages  together .... but at the end of the day, this is one of those moments i really couldn't understand from the outside 

So Thankyou Lydia for writing this guest post to help myself and other mums understand a bit more about the sheer exhaustion this time of year brings to many 

( Damon asleep at the  dining table, and spending some brief yet beautiful time with 5 year old hunter ) 

noun: Vintage Widow

A person that must surrender their partner to the period of time that is grape                                  harvest season, the word Widow is used as this is their life anywhere from                              
4-12 weeks, between the months of February and May, they literally, mourn                                     the loss of their partners for this time, and take on the dual role, of what                                          keeps a family together!

So yep a lot of you out there reading this in the similar situation
you, you my dear are a Vintage Widow, same here! 
But you know me being the person I am, most of the time, I look at the silver lining, 
“I don’t have it as hard as FIFO wives!” 
those women? I bloody take my hat to them, seriously they are made of good stuff!

No… I don’t complain , but bugger me this time I will have a whinge, if someone who’s partner works 12 hour shifts, 6 days a week is a Vintage Widow, then damn it, me and my sister in law (Our Husbands,  are Brothers, who work seamlessly together) are HARD CORE Vintage Widows!

Yes we know, “we knew what we were marrying into”…and yep we get it! This is “just a season”! Yes, “it’s only for a short time”, and “think of the money”! or…

“this too shall pass”! 

Yeah it will, like a long cold winter, hell bent on hooking it’s claws in and holding on for dear life! Thank you for the lovely fluffy sentiments, but they really aren’t helping right now! “Yo…Vintage Widows…Ya feeling me”!

What is life like for a HARD CORE Vintage Widow? Well here’s a run of the mill kind of day!

6:00 am
Wake up, oh? Hubby did make it home! In some form of English from the depths of his dead tired tired state, “yeah…snore…. didn’t make it home when I thought last night, we had a tyre blow out!” (after not seeing him since 11:00pm the night before) Hubby sits bolt upright “Oh shit, I gotta get up! Gotta be back at the shed at 8:00 this morning”!
7:00 am
Kids awake, coffee machine on, here comes the day, feed mr 5, BF miss 8 month old, and brekky for miss 8 month old.
7:30 am
“Could you pick me and the bro up from, such and such block”? “Sure”! Kids in the car and off to pick up said men!
8:00 am
Really need brekky, make Mr 5’s lunch, do readers, change bum, yell at Mr 5, for the fifty millionth time, “please just eat your brekky”! “Man! Didnt’ I turn that coffee machine on”? Lemon water, yes, go me still keeping up with healthy habits!
8:30 am
Miss 8 months won’t let me put her down, brekky waiting, yes mate I can help you do up your shoes! “what? it’s 8:40? Oh bloody hell! We are going to be late”!
8:45 am
After another bum change, kids in the car, whoops forgot your hat!
8:50 am
“Come on we’re going to be late”! Too bad we are already late!
9:00 am
Trying to be a good mum, I hang around and watch the mornings class routine, really I just want some other human contact, conversation, it’s been days since I have had a conversation that doesn’t involve, poo, dribble, transformers or why my son can’t lay pillows on top of his sister and play surf board with her!
9:30 am
Yeah, i’ve hung out a bit too long in class, feeling like I have out stayed, the involved mum length of time!
10:00 am
“Oh is that my brekky”? “ugh oh well a bit of cold porridge never hurt anyone”! Coffee! Oh damn it! Turns the coffee machine on again! Feed miss 8 month old! Put her to bed
10:30 am
Whoops, did I pay those invoices? Quick! paid! Oh dear sitting at the desk has made me realise, I have a mountain of Photo work to do, yes going to apply myself today! Gets involved!
11:00 am
After settling miss 8 months again, cofffffeeeeee! Oh dear, turns the coffee machine on…again!
12:00 pm
Phone call from Husband “can you come pick us up? we need to run a vehicle from block A to Block B”!
12:30 pm
Change bum, feed miss 8 months! Loads car and go!
1:30 pm
Ok back home, coffee, drops head, coffee machine! Turns machine on again, finally there is Black liquid gold in cup! YAY, oh miss 8 months…lunch? Yes….
2:00 pm
Coffeeeee! Slaps forehead, oh well, hopes hot milk makes, previously brewed coffee, hot enough, “Have I had lunch”? Goes back through memory…..don’t…think…so?!
2:30 pm
Miss 8 months won’t let me put her down, oh god, that load of washing how longs that been in the machine for? Put that on again, and thinking of what else I can do carrying a baby!
3:00 pm
 Lunch? Oh god it’s 3? Already? Crap, Hunters swimming gear? Shoves, anything grabable food foodwise in mouth, must go!
3:10 pm
Shit! Literally, changes bum, damn we are going to be late AGAIN picking up your brother! Load car and go!
3:30 pm
Bugger it! Left coffee to go cold on bench, realises after many attempts, not one has been consumed, load kids out of car! Grabs coffee at swimming, sits for the first time today to take a breath, hubby rings, “We’re going to pick longer today, can you organise tea and bring it out”? Tea? Oh god! I completely forgot to get something out!
5:00 pm 
Load kids, picks up veg, milk, and meat. No time to be a “good wifey” must purchase said dinner already prepared!
6:00 pm
Drops some form of food off to men, Kids get to see dad…for 10 mins, winning! Well at least they have seen him twice today, even if it only totals 1/2 hour in the last 24, Yey!
6:30 pm
 Home again, unloads kids and everything out of the car, change bum, BF miss 8 months, “yes, I will watch Shaun the Sheep with you buddy”!  (normally a father-son tradition)
7:30 pm
Pulls pre-packed veggie squeeze tube out of cupboard for miss 8 months! It’s salad and tinned salmon for mr 5 and myself! Miss 8 months in jolly jumper, just so I can eat tea in peace, way over tired! No arvo nap for her today, poor poppet!
8:00 pm
Miss 8 months to bed, yay! “Oh shit I haven’t bathed her”? “When was that done last”? Smells hair and body, she’ll be ok tonight!
8:30 pm
Bugger mr 5 needs a shower too, “quick in the shower bud, then straight to bed”! “yes, we will do you readers in the morning! No, Dad won’t be home tonight to say good night," Facetime! You bloody life saver!
9:00 pm
Ah….some time to chill! Unpacks, meat, milk and veggies, sits down! Aaggghhhh
Oh wait, dishes, washing, floors, photo work? Oh dear god! I ignore it! I can’t see any of it! BED! Ill deal with that tomorrow!
10:30 pm
Feed miss 8 months for the last time today, enjoy some cuddles, hubby still not home! I am sure I will feel his warm body at some stage tonight skulk into bed!
Receives text message “won’t be home until after 2, gotta take a load away, and shift again, for tomorrow”!

I wish this text was uncommon, but its an all too  familiar occurrence  

We do it all again tomorrow! 
But I am sure I will do better tomorrow! 

But even if I don’t, mess doesn’t matter, a that stuff will still be there tomorrow, I am just trying to love my kids and husband the best I can, and if that means, a packet pouch of food, dishes in the sink, unfolded washing on the couch or an untidy house, then so be it,

Love is THE most important thing, IT…it is the glue, that keeps this mess, at this time of the year, together! 

This life is a crazy one we live, and it’s damn hard, but we wouldn’t have it any other way, we have beautiful family loving men, who break themselves to provide for us, and our kids futures, and that is a great sacrifice!

So yeah, we might have it tough, but we have it good! **insert river lining here!

This Hard core Vintage widow is signing off from her crazy world for a hopeful 6 hours sleep (in between the worry for a safe return of our men), ready to take on the world tomorrow!

To follow more of Lydia and her families  journey,  follow her on Instagram where she shares her beautiful photography work


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